The Earthly Elements
by JPBrony
Summary: After a brutal murder that I caused, I was transported some place safe. Only, this place was not my home. It was far from my home. Welcome to Equestria, Jason. Or should I say, Wildfire.


Here's a story about something that went wrong with my life.

Disclaimer: MLP is owned by Hasbro. Do you know how much it is to own MLP? Probably more than I'll ever make. Also, the album In Silico is owned by Pendulum. I own nothing except the storyline, and my OC's, Wildfire, Aqua Breeze, Windiblow, and Rock Shatter.

Part 1: Where the FUCK are we?

Oh, shit. Fuck ass cunt, every imaginable swear word.

This can't be happening. My fingers unclenched, and I fell to my knees. Murder. Murder. That one word puts such a fear in my heart that it threatens to explode. What will my friends think of me, Tommy, Ryan? Fuck. And my parents. But it was in self defence. I mean, he was going to murder me.

Right?

I ran towards home. Luckily my parents were at a Nick Cave concert (Nick Cave, please don't sue me). I laid on my couch, I was a nervous wreck, and really, who could blame me? Why am I asking all of these rhetorical questions? Oh wait, was that a rhetorical question? Shit, stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop!

I woke to Tommy screaming in my ear, "Come on, get up, sorry loser!" "Shut up, dickface!" I screamed.

"What's the problem?" "The problem is I just... I just..." I calmed down. "Not important." That was Tommy's "super power", he could calm anyone down in a flash. "What is important is that I have to get out of here, fast."

"Be cool, dude. Just tell us what's wrong." said Ryan.

Tommy was a short, stocky dude of 5' 4", what he's missing in height he makes up for in strength. Ryan was a skinny rail of a guy, he was 5' 11". He's normally pretty collected, but he is known to flip out on occasion. Me, I'm tall for my age of 19, I'm 6' 7". You may think that's pretty cool, but imagine trying to get through doors at my height.

"Okay, here goes. I was knocked into an alley by a group of thugs on my way home. They demanded my money. Luckily, I didn't have any money on me, so I told them that. They didn't buy it, so-"

The door crashed open with a bang and a high pitched scream. "FUCK!" Autumn stood there with fire in her eyes, and a 9 iron in her hand. She was the shortest of the group, at 5' 3". She normally has brown hair but for some reason she dyed it bright pink. She swung the 9 iron at me and yelled, "How could you fucking kill my brother!?" I caught the 9 iron thanks to my training in Tae Kwon Do and snapped it in half.

"Excuse me? The police may have left out a few details, because-"

"I don't wanna hear your excuses! The police didn't have to cite the day perfectly from start to finish to know that-"

"If you could just let me-"

I was cut off by a huge flash of white light. All of a sudden, the four of us started to be sucked into the light. "Autumn!" Tommy yelled. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" She screamed. This is the worst day of my life.

/

I awoke with a flash, and looked around. This place was utterly familiar... The trees and the grass had kind of an... animated feel to them. "Son of an ass!" Only one person I knew could say that. "Tommy?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"How come you look like that?"

"How come you look like that?"

I looked into a lake and my heart stopped. I was a pony. A fucking pony. "Do you know what this means?" Tommy asked me. "Hell yeah! We're in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!"

I was a red unicorn with a red mane, and a fireball as a cutie mark. Tommy was a beige earth pony with a brown mane, and a boulder as a cutie mark.

"Goddamnit Jason, I'll kill you, you fucking cunt!" Autumn was still steamed, and her eyes burned with hatred. Which was ironic because she was a blue unicorn with an aquamarine mane, and a water droplet as a cutie mark.

"It wasn't my fault! Your brother jumped me in the middle of the alley, and I had no other choice but to Tae Kwon Do chop him. I tried to knock him out with it, but he twisted a bit and I severed his spine. But it was only in self defense, I swear! He had a gun and was going to shoot me!"

"I don't give a fuck, you should have let him shoot you!"

"That doesn't fucking make sense! I specifically-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" A voice behind us cried out and we were all knocked to the ground. Behind us we saw a green pegasus with wind swirling out of his mane. He had turquoise eyes and a wispy green mane, with a typhoon cutie mark. By his deep so-called "manly voice", we knew immediately it was-

"Ryan," I whispered.

"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! YOU!" He pointed to Autumn. "YOU FUCKING PUSSY, IT WASN'T JASON'S FAULT YOUR FUCKING SON OF A BITCH BROTHER IS DEAD, HE WAS ABOUT TO KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" He pointed at me.

"Ryan, I don't think that's really-" I started but was interrupted.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'LL GET TO YOU IN A SECOND! NOW BACK TO MISS WHINY BITCH OVER THERE! JUST STOP CRYING OVER YOUR DUMBASS BROTHER'S BONEHEAD MISTAKE OF GOING AGAINST A TAE KWON DO MASTER!

"AND YOU!" He pointed to me again. "STOP FUCKING ARGUING WITH HER, SHE FUCKING KNOWS THAT IT WAS HER BROTHER'S FAULT IT'S JUST IN HER NATURE TO BE A CUNT ABOUT IT! HOW DO YOU THINK I-

"How do you think I feel?" His voice was barely over a whisper, which scared me more than his yelling, and he had tears in his eyes. "I-I don't like yelling at you guys. Seriously. But you need to calm down, because this is a much bigger problem than Autumn's idiot brother's dumbass mistake. How will we get back home?"

He started sobbing, his cries getting louder and louder. "Tommy?" "Yeah?" "I think we broke him."

Part 2: An old rivalry

Ryan's been crying for a couple seconds now. It scares me, he usually never cries. Suddenly, a bright light flashed in the distance. Boom! A cartoon explosion shook the ground. "Come on guys, let's go check it out!" Autumn yelled. "I call the dead weight!" Tommy called. He picked up the shell of Ryan and placed it on his back. I rolled my eyes and said, "Nobody is complaining."

I run for track, so this is nothing but nothing to me. "Tommy, if you can't keep up, I'm leaving you behind!" "Shut up, fucker! I know!"

Autumn was out of breath and running next to me. "Can't… we… just teleport… there?" She panted. "Oh yeah, here goes. Oh that's right, we have no idea how to use magic. I forgot about that while we were talking about your blowhog of a brother!" "Fuck... you… bitch!"

Tommy slowed down because he saw something in the distance.

"Hey, by the way, did you happen to see who is right in front of you?" Tommy said while skidding to a halt. "Oh yeah, it's probably Discord or something. What a fucker." I said sarcastically while looking at Tommy. His eyes were as big as dinner plates. I sighed.

"Discord's right behind me isn't he?" I said nervously. I turned around to see the draconequus laughing his ass off, pointing at Tommy. "Haha, you should see the look on your face! Priceless!"

Just then, Ryan came to his senses and pushed himself off of Tommy and fell to the the ground with a grunt. "Ummm… who's your friend here?" Ryan asked with a quizzical look on his face.

"Why, I'm Discord! Spirit and lord of chaos and disharmony, how do you do?"

Discord stuck out his hand to have a handshake with Ryan. Ryan tentatively stuck out his hoof to meet Discord's, and he got an electric shock that made him vomit.

Meanwhile, Discord was laughing and saying, "Geez, you're laughing so hard you're… convulsing!" Ryan was shaking on the floor with drool coming out of his mouth. "Knock it off Discord! You seem like a mean character!" Autumn cried.

"Oh, and would a 'mean character' do this?" He revealed the Elements of Harmony, each bloodied and badly bruised. Autumn screamed and put her hand over her eyes.

"That's it…" I said in a voice that was not my own. "Discord if you don't stop with this, you will pay the price."

"Ha! Ooh, that's rich. And what, pray tell, is the 'price' I will have to pay?"

I smirked, then opened my mouth and laughed the most evil laugh I have ever heard myself use. "This."

I then fired a beam of pure energy at Discord's arm from in between my hooves, which knocked it clean off and vaporized it. The look of amusement on Discord's face turned into pain and anger.

"Now… if you don't want that to happen to the rest of your body and blow you into oblivion, I suggest you do as I say." I said as I charged up my energy once again.

The now defeated Discord fell to his knees and said, "Please, do it. I am so unhappy."

My ears perked up. "Huh? Why would you be, after you've done all this? I thought you liked chaos?"

He sighed and began to talk. "I was very unhappy from the start, you see. Because I was not originally the spirit of chaos you see today. There is a thing that you don't know about me. Before I became Discord, I was… Commander Hurricane."

"What?" I exclaimed.

Hah, cliffhanger! This continues next chapter, which I will release next week, give or take a few days. Thanks for being patient with me, as I was on hiatus for a while. Also, this was originally going to be a part of "In Silico", but I deleted that story. This story is now called "The Earthly Elements". Thanks again!

Jason

Quote of the day: "If you would create something, you must be something." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


End file.
